Close up to 7cm*

Time for the test.
Still unsure. Still undecided, mostly its fear.
Fear creeping up everywhere. I fear i might not make it. Afterall.
Knew its coming. All along. (Faking Smiles?) Not a bit.
There’re no fakes, just hopes.
All is illusion. And illusion creates image of contend.
Universal energy = Self-deception?
Can the language of self-affirmation holds true each time? (yes i just answered this afternoon)
I doubted all along, but gave the benefit of the doubt.
Hold me back, i’m losing ground. (That Easily?) Not quite.
Half-prepared for the battle. The time still has come.
Continue believing.
Here i am, not shunning anywhere, TAKE ME ON!
The ultimate test. But not the concluding sentence.
There’s still time. Continue this faith i have.
Come on CHEER for me!
If no one hears me, fret not.
Remember to believe, still.
(& keep practising that *GRIN*)

[looking foward to ciie how my efforts score :D]

its august soon. i almost choked.

this yr is the most fast-paced yr i had. (wait, din i said that last yr too?) ha, perhaps i’ll make the same comment again next yr & the following yrs to come. One beauty ed says women after 21 will embark on the road of graceful ageing, journey of no return. Not only that, life after 21 seems like a whirlwind too, accelerating each time u blew another candle off ur cake. I’m not saying it’s all bad. It’s in fact interesting how in a couple of years’ time make all the difference. (do not wish to quote any examples here, i shall not try to challenge myself with the past-tensed me!)
the busy months are over, but the madness goes on. It’s great to be able to once again be ‘ahead of time’ rather than watching time ran past me each day without being able to catch a single breath..those crazy days, weeks, months..left me almost asthmatic. enjoy the scenery while i could! i dunno what is tmr’s going to look like. & i’m letting go..i dun care (as) much. i visualise a happy tmr, in no exact shapes & colours. take things as they come. Plan ahead but do not live in the future. It’s as futile as living in the past.
oily, greasing, fattening, heaty, cholesterol laden food are on my diet listing this week. (partly thanks to the pasar malam near my place!) oh-no..im croaking soon. oh no…old frens, overseas fren, new fren, concert, birthday bash..all the way to the end of july. oh-no….i’m gonna say hello to them in my toad-like crooaaaak!! oh-no…..

warning! - contentment & happiness leads to better sense of smell, improved palate and increased appetite. devour at your own risk!

its august soon, & it’ll be back to swim swim swim! diet diet diet! chomping on chips still, i almost choked. oh-no……

[oscar wilde - only the shallow know themselves]

Long Queue, Stiff Air, Growling Stomachs.
Excitment, Anticipation, EXHILARATION !
This is probably the first live singing performance i’m attending this year. Cannot deny the strong influence of pop music culture, the alluring thrill of catching live performances, & definitely not deny the fatal attraction coming from this extremely vocally-talented artiste. Wow! Such long-awaited..so cannot-be-missed.. This nite, i was a groupie once more. & while Eason (oh yes did i forget to mention?) dishes out the first title track, which is kind of tribute to the late cantopop icon Leslie, from his latest canto effort thru his beloved U87 mic, oh-my-god…sends instant goosebumps all over me…..it’s certainly different from the album version. Few new songs in a row, some laughters in between, and generous applause & non-stop camera flash thru’out, the show ended in no time. Too short for the audiences’ soaring spirits to hit overdrive. Next, went for simple porridge dinner, comforting enough to nourish the over-starved tummy. Both lite but equally satisfying, ends the nite in a perfect note.
[ fellow groupies, gear up for his full-scale concert on our shores next year! ]

( @_@ my pics here .. )
http://ciie.blogspot.com/2005/07/this-nitea-groupie-once-more.html

this sound track is one of my fav cd that i play everywhere anytime. written & produced by japan duo - Lowjive. (i hv no idea w regards to their bg) uplifting, sensual, upbeat, good vibes, refreshing, dreamy, relaxed, cool..whatever u call it, i’m bad with my adjectives.. jus knew i love this purely for the music without watching the movie. (not an uncommon practise for me) and i recall myself telling someone for a good 2yrs that i hv not seen this show & hv ZERO idea what its about. until one day when i was looking thru the movie stubs i always keep, to my amusement was Princess-D amongst them! no idea, totally none… how can? how come? .. & i hv 2 stubs.. must hv went with somebody..who? (ohh noo, its my movie mysteries again!! pls refer to my earlier blog :P) for that nite, i sat there, mind drifting around frivolously, the cd spins on in perfect accompaniment.. i like moments like this, sometimes, somethings do not need a link, a reason, a history, a.. a.. whatever.. (lost the word i wanna use in space again) occasionally set ur mind free & roam without logic is good. ambiguity is sometimes beautiful
& then i thot of something i read from jimmy’s picture book - the moon forgets (yue liang wang ji le) -
kan jian de, kan bu jian le.
ji zhu de, yi wang le.
kan bu jian de, shi bu shi jiu deng yu bu chun zai?
ji zhu de, shi bu shi yong yuan bu hui xiao shi?
(eh, roughly it means, now u saw it, then u missed it.. now u remembered, then u lost it.. whatever that u don’t see, does that mean they don’t exist? whatever u remember now, does it mean they will nv disappear?) haha..sorry for the lousy translation, somebody help me do the author some justice..

i have a good memory. or so i thot. daily stuff, miscellaneous things, better-off-to-be-forgotten woes.. to mention a few that are unnecessarily stored alongside precious memories & knowledge. Once a piece of puzzle sprung up from no where, it’s really hard for someone meticulous in a certain sense to comprehend. i’m not getting forgetful. Big Mystery.

Princess Delusion.